Sunday, February 11, 2007

Flying Bananas

An "artist" has become inspired to build and launch a flying banana over Texas. Approximately 300m in length, filled with helium, unmanned, high-altitude.

Being an artist, he's doing this with OPM (Other People's Money). Frankly, I could think of a few thousand things that would produce more lasting value than floating a yellow banana in the very high altitude over Texas, but woe to anyone who speaks out over funding the Arts.

I support funding "the Arts". Hopefully, someday, we may have the courage to recognize that not all proposed projects in "the Arts" are worthy, some are just tremendously stupid or nondescript ideas.

The banana irks me on two fronts.

First, it's funded by public money. I have no problem if somebody thinks this is a good idea and wants to put money into it. But taxpayer money is also being tossed in. There is also likely indirect tax money (my money) - I'll bet that the private and corporate donors are also writing this off as a donation or a marketing expense on their taxes, and so the oter taxpayers (you and me) are taking up the slack. Go ahead and float your ballon, but don't ask me to pay for it.

Secondly (and this is an aviation blog so there is - finally - an aviation relationship), it is a Really Dumb Idea, technically speaking. For example:
  • Helium is a rare gas, really expensive, and finding 200,000 cubic metres of it for a 1 month lark is going to be a challenge.
  • Helium atoms (molecules) are Really Small - so small they'll (slowly) pass right through even a dense substance such as glass. The plan is to have this thing hover over Texas for a month, and without really terrific materials and contruction the helium will seep out long before that time.
  • Because the thing flies, there are standards to be met. Our artist figures to bypass all the rules by launching from Mexico (apparently he thinks Mexico has no airworthiness standards) and going so high the blimp will technically be in outer space, above the legislative reach of the FAA. Alas, the height required is so high that the banana won't visible from the ground - which rather defeats the original inspiring purpose.
  • What goes up must come down, and this thing is supposed to suddenly magically and simultaenously self-destruct and then burn up on the way to the ground. Of course, what will really happen is that it will start to leak, be unable to maintain altitude, and come fluttering/drifting down in some random location.

Obviously, this guy is not an engineer. Though his website says the project is "in the final stages of engineering", perhaps that is a marketing statement.

If the objective of art is to get people talking and thinking, he has been successful. Hopefully, he'll stop here. It would be a lot cheaper and safer, too.

No comments: